Monday, December 28, 2009

My Life as a Reality Show

I am pretty sure that my life would make a great reality show. There is a problem though...see my life would only be the 'before' segments. I don't think that we have gotten to any 'afters'. Know what I mean?  I am pretty sure right now I am living the 'before' segments on a few different shows.

First off, I KNOW I would featured on Supernanny. Delaney is 2 years old right now and damn good at it. Her hilarious faces and witty personality make up for her lack of discipline, most of the time. Then add the little man who doesn't sleep and you got yourself a par-tay that Supernanny would have a field day with!

Second, I KNOW I would be featured on The Dog Whisperer. Oh dear dogs. Sandy and Opie are their names. They are a huge pain in the booty. Sandy was the result of a drunken Rocky Point trip a few years back. A little girl found her litter in a hole on Competition Hill and brought them down to her house. I fell in love with Sandy right away. Eric said no way (keep in mind that we were not living together, nor were we even engaged yet and I lived in an apartment:). We went to our favorite hangout in Rocky Point, JJ's, and I kept ordering tequila shots and what do ya know... he said yes to Sandy! Opie was also my fault. Since I have known Eric he has wanted a Mastiff. When Chase, his sweet little Jack Russell, died, I thought it may be the time. How gross can they be right? I bought Opie for Eric on Christmas 3 years ago. 180 pounds and countless spit rags later, Opie is out of control. Neither of the dogs listen, it takes a stroke of luck to get them locked outside and they knock the kids down all the time. Caesar- we need you.

The third show I am pretty sure I would be featured on is Clean House. I can't seem to get control of the chaos and mess. SO SAD! I was the one that had a place for everything and I am constantly reminded of that by Eric. I miss me! I know Clean House would do wonders (to be honest, my house does not look like the houses on the show- just my closet:)

The last one that I KNOW I would be featured on is a show that may or may not still be on the sir . It was A Makeover Story on TLC. Yep.... I am in desperate need of one. Hair, make up, clothes, everything. What's wrong with sweats and a pony tail everyday? And so what that I love wearing my maternity underwear still...

So you see, a network could block out a two hour time frame for me. The thing is, I would HAVE to get some 'afters' wouldn't ya think?


  1. Super funny!

    Mine would be The Amazing Race... to get it all done!!

  2. okay first of all...and I think we had this conversation the other day, didn't we?? Maternity underwear are the bomb, and I still wear mine too! I do love the idea of the reality shows...that was a funny blog. But don't forget you are a great mommy and wife and darn it, you're doing the very best you can!! Sweats and all! :)

  3. Laughing out loud Nicole : ) Although I watch all those shows and no, you would not qualify! But, I do recall that you were quite a neat freak when you lived with me...remember how much enjoyment you got steam cleaning the carpets : )

  4. So - the floor's cluttered with toys and the dogs drool - alot - it's all good. There was a poem I loved when you were little ... "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow - for babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow. So go away cobwebs - dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my babies - and babies don't keep!"
    You'll get your 'afters' - no worries. But maybe not 'til the kiddo's are in school. :)

  5. I LOVE that poem your mom mentioned. It is called Song for a Fifth child. I try to remind myself of it whenever I look around my house. It ALWAYS looks like a tornado blew threw. Not sure how any mom does it otherwise. I am conviced it is at the expense of the childre. Or at least that is what I tell myself.

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