In light of this "incident" (that will now never go away) I have been thinking about my past and the way I was raised. I have the best parents. Growing up, my dad was a fighter pilot (A-10's, A-7s, F-16) and an American Airlines pilot. He was the 'cool' dad. All the boys wanted to be him. In high school, the boys from the football team (my boyfriend at the time was on the team) would be at my house when I wasn't even there. They would be talking to my dad in the garage or sitting at the kitchen table having homemade cookies and drinking soda. My mom was "mom" to everyone. She always made sure that there were plenty of snacks in the house and was always willing to have company. Growing up we ALWAYS had dinner together. No question- dinner 5:30 or 5:45- all of us around the table. Honestly, there were times when I was just plain annoyed that we had to do it again- for crying out loud we saw each other every day! But, graciously, my parents would have dinner and I would always have a friend there. We would talk about our day, laugh, make fun of each other etc. My sister and I monopolized the conversation and my soft spoken brother would search for a break (usually when we took a bite) to jump in. Dinner at our house was sacred.
Growing up, my parents were strict. I had a curfew, I had to tell them where I was going, who I was going to be with, and if parents were going to be there or not. Before I got a cell, I had to call FROM THE FRIENDS HOUSE so the number would show up on the caller ID. If there was a boy involved, both parents met him and believe me when I say, my dad can be intimidating.
The thing I remember the most is that I didn't like the rules, but I didn't protest them because I knew I wouldn't win. I RESPECTED my parents as my PARENTS. They didn't try to be my friend- they lead by example and now I am grateful for that.
My parents trusted us. If I was going to be late, I would call and tell them the truth. If I told them I was at a party- no parents weren't there- this is the address, I will be home 30 minutes late, then 90% of the time, they would let me. They trusted me because they brought us up with boundaries and rules. They didn't buy us things all the time.We learned to value our things and be grateful for what we had. We were not spoiled by any means. And believe when I tell you that we did not back talk. IF we did we were instantly punished. We weren't even allowed to say sucks or pissed off! We learned how to talk to grown ups (Mr. or Mrs.) and we would say hello and goodbye to people when we went to their house (without being told to). We were brought up with morals and values and I am so glad!
Now I am best friends with my mom, but I am 29. She will call me out when I am being stupid making questionable decisions, she is still my mom, and I will always respect her in that manner.
Now that I have my own kids, and 2 step-kids, I am learning very quickly what kind of parent I want to be. Dinner at our house- not an option. We sit down, we eat, the table is cleared, dishes are done. Delaney puts her clothes in the laundry basket and will have chores as she grows up. Kaylie and Daylen have a lot of rules here and I know more will arise as they get older. We won't put up with back talk or lies. I want Kaylie and Daylen to be role models for the little ones. I want our kids growing up with values and morals and respecting adults. I am so happy that I had a great childhood with parents who knew how to parent. I know that I will pass that on to my kids.
Happy 32nd anniversary mom and dad!
Our family-they make me smile:)