Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Shoot the bastard!!!

First let me say hello to my new followers and let me assure you that this is not the norm for me...I usually post a lot more and they are usually way less depressing than this one

February is over and I say THANK GOODNESS! What a shitty month. I have to admit that I am a 'glass is half empty and it will probably spill' kind of person, but I can honestly say it was a rough one. This weekend topped it off though. Brody has been sick for what seems like forever (really it's been about 3 or 4 weeks). He's been sick, I have been sick, Delaney got a touch of it, my parents were sick, it's just been a germ fest here. So almost two weeks ago now, I took Brody to the doctor because he sounded like he had been a smoker for 100 years. Our pediatrician, whom I love, wasn't there so we saw a different one. At that visit, she decided that he had asthma and that he needed to have breathing treatments until his cold was gone. So, $60 later, we have the stupid contraption. It is pure torture giving it to him and I really didn't notice a difference. Fast forward to last Friday. STILL sounding like he has emphasema, I call the doctor and they get him that afternoon. (Before we went to the doctor, I made a cake for my little brother's birthday. Josh was here from Flagstaff and got to hang out with some sick people:) He is an amazing snowboarder and mountain biker-hence the cake).

(This is the snowboard cake...it was supposed to look like he crashed....)
 Eric met me at the doctor's office and I walk in and it's like I am Norm from cheers. "Hey Nicole, Hey Brody, hey Delaney. Sign in...blah, blah, blah" The front desk man commented that he wishes that he had a punch card for us so we can earn our way to a free co-pay. Anyway, Dr. Couchman sees Brody and after a LONG visit, he determines that the $60 thing isn't working and he needed a steroid to help. He told us that it would make him hyper and irritable. He also told us that the medicine tastes so digusting that the only thing to mask the after taste is to give him a spoonful of chocolate syrup. Who knew?

   So now it's Saturday. Eric went to work on a side job and I had the kids. Delaney has somewhat reverted back to being a baby...I am not sure why, all I know is that all of a sudden, an already high maintance child has become 5 times more difficult. So, Brody is beyond cranky and Delaney is beyond difficult and all I wanted to do was take a damn shower. I lock the dogs out of my bedroom and put tons of toys in there for the kids and get in the shower. Not two minutes go by and I hear the dogs! Delaney let them in. What's the big deal right? Well, Opie is a 150 pound mastiff and with step all over Brody, plus Brody loves to play with his jowels and that is just nasty. I fly out of the shower, totally lose my temper and push the dogs out. In doing so, I slam the tip of Opie's tail in the door. He yelped, but I didn't think anything of it. I finish getting ready and notice that Brody has pooped all over the place, so I pick him up, open the door and find blood splattered ALL OVER THE HALLWAY AND FLOOR. Then I look down and I see the tip of Opie's tail on the floor. Holy crap. I quickly look at Opie and his tail is bleeding everywhere. Then the most disgusting thing ever happened. HE FREAKING ATE IT!!!! OMG...gag me now. I change Brody and call Eric and beg him to come home-he, of course, thinks I am exaggerating. Then I call my mom and she sent my dad over. Eric gets home and sees the crime scene and figures out that I am NOT exaggerating. My dad comes over and Opie gets so excited that he wags his tail which is now gushing blood and shoots everywhere, including all over me and the kids. Eric and my dad ended up taking Opie to the vet to have emergency surgery. The bone was exposed and apparently I cut off a couple vertebrates. They ended up taking a couple inches off of his tail. A hefty bill later, my big dog's tail is shorter and he is home smelling nothing short of a port-a-potty . I beg Eric to wash him and when he does his damn cast comes off and we can't get it back on! Seriously....I wanted to die. All the while, Brody won't let me put him down and Delaney was pretending like she was just learning to walk. THIS WAS JUST SATURDAY.....

This is Opie.
This is his owie and yes he is not fixed....can ya tell?
Oh and this is Sandy...she is concerned for him.
Later that day as I am sitting with my mom in amazement, she says, "It does seem like the gremlin of shit is sitting on your roof honey". So there ya go....one day out of the hell that has been my life lately. If anyone knows of a sniper I would love for them to come over and shoot the bastard off my roof.......


  1. Ok...that is just madness. All of it! But, out of all that, I have something to tell you.

    My children's doctor's name is Dr. Cochran. You will know what that means.

  2. oh.my.gosh. That is one sucky day!! Well at least it can only get better right?? I have to say as crazy as that was, I couldn't help but laugh, not at you I swear, but it's just so crazy it's funny!!! Hopefully everything is settling down and Brody is doing better!! When everyone is well, let's let the kids run crazy and the park!

  3. Let's hope March is a much better month for all of you :)I know April will be!

  4. Well, i am glad someone is being real in blogworld.

  5. wow! that sure does bite! sorry you're having a rough time, march HAS to be better right??? if you need anything, please call me!! i only have a few more months of freedom ;) love you!!!

  6. Oh WOW! That is all kinds of sucky! And like Sam said a bit funny. Have a beer, or 2, you deserve it!

  7. I happened to be married to an intensely accurate firearms instructor...He love shooting pigeons out of Anabelle's window, so why not gremlins out of yours? It's gotta get better now! :)

  8. OMG! I am feel so bad for you! Why does this stuff always happen when the husband is away?


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